Control

Essentially we all have a mind of our own.  And that scares a lot of people.  Why?  Because we cannot know what they are thinking, what they are going to do next or say next, etc.  So many people take action and try take control.  Take control as in removing power from someone else and this only happens if we allow it to.  (Of course there are some extraordinary instances when this statement is not feasible).  Some people are manipulative, they try to make their idea your idea.  There is probably a good chance that we have all done this to some degree, I know I have.  Especially with horses.


A real relationship- a true teaching relationship, has no control.  It has the power of suggestion.  This is empowering or better yet enabling.  Its about creating circumstances to learn from understanding, not mimicking or reacting out of fear, for example.  Think about when you were a kid and your parents said you 'can't do that' and proceeded to NOT offer an explanation why or offered up the ol' standby 'Because'.  When working with horses, 'because' doesn't work.  They need to see/feel an out, a release, a place to go.  This place is learning.  If your Mom told you 'You can't do that because you will burn yourself' and then maybe go further than that saying 'My brother did that when he was a kid and got burnt badly' then you are more likely to think 'Oh, that makes sense, getting burned hurts,' and find something else to do.  Of course much of life is trial and error but GOOD teachers help.

This horse cannot get away from pressure in
the mouth, one of the most sensitive areas on
the horse.  Its mouth is tied shut. There are many
tools used to gain control through force.

I have both good and bad teachers when it has come to life and horses.  The best advice I got about life is to be optimistically skeptical (although at most times I am still a pushover and trust all too easily) The best advice I heard in regards to horses- that they are a horse and not a person.  We have a tendency to anthropomorphize our animals- that is to see them in a human light.  I still do it, but what it all boils down to, they are prey animals, they are grazing moving animals and we cannot change or control this.