Flight

Found

Yesterday I participated in what was my first experience with riding for disabled persons.  Within five minutes of being in the arena I had tears in my eyes.  I had just witnessed a horse hug and hold a young girl of maybe 10 or 11 who was mentally and physically disabled. She dismounted with the aid of her 'sidewalkers' and went up to stroke tho horses head when he gently reached his head around to her and held it there, eyes soft, licking his lips as the young girl leaned into him for what seemed like an eternity.  I seen her eyes light up and she was found.

Riding horses can help Youth feel in tune with their movement

Throughout the evening I helped youth from wheelchairs and onto the backs of horses and observed them turn from tight awkward beings to loose laughing souls.  I was overwhelmed with compassion and a new appreciation for the horse.  

Artist: Matthew Cusick

Horses know fear, they know work and they know love.  That was very clear yesterday evening and it is something I want to remain involved with.  The ability to touch the lives of humans is remarkable.  They can be a guide to map to finding ourselves.  A little outside trust, compassion and encouragement can take us a long way.

LIFE

When I think of my first horse Poncho, I think of life.  What he taught me about living and the life he had in him.  He was a goer.  We went everywhere fast.  It got us into trouble and still gets me into trouble.  The roles in Poncho's life have gone from Endurance Racer, to 4-H horse to Teenage Savior, Parade Horse, Trail Master, Babysitter and finally to Family Guy.  He was the type of horse that had a sparkle in his eye that you could see from way out in the pasture.  Even full of mud, he was an eye-catching horse.  

Poncho came to me on Thanksgiving in my 11th year and his 9th.  All the way from southern Alberta.  I found him in an ad in the good ol' Western Producer.  I had put a call out to the universe years before for a horse.  Specifically one of Arab blood.  I was just drawn to the breed.  Poncho arrived at our farm late in the day, we were still finishing the fence so he had a place live.  A proper horse pen.  Welding rods lit up the night as the sucker rod round pen, his new home, was nearing completion.  I unloaded Ponch from the two horse trailer tripping over my own jaw (I had not seen him before this moment).  He was a massive 15.3 hands compared to my own small stature.  He wanted to go, wander, inspect- So we did just that.  I walked him all over the farm. He munched on grass and checked out his new home and I checked him out.  From that moment on, I did not want to be away from him.  Being a mother now, I can relate the feeling to not wanting to be away from your child.  However, I was more the child in this relationship.  He was a wise soul, and mischievous at the same time.

I wasn't the first one on him.  My mischievous side told me to put my younger brother on first to see how rideable he was...  Kurt stayed on, and the horse didn't bolt or buck so I hauled Kurt off and I got on, forever. There were days when I would take off for 8 hours.  Disappear into the hills South of the farm or cross the creek North to check out the world, fields and feel the wind whip through my hair.  A girl and a horse sounds so cliche, but it truly was a spiritual experience, and still is.  
Poncho was a point-and-go horse, he has climbed cliffs that I just shake my head at now, why I even attempted to climb them, but he would do it again and again.  He would swim into ponds, across creeks and into rivers.  One of the most memorable times was swimming in the Peace River and jumping off into the river to engage in a mud fight with one of my girlfriends using our horses as shields.  We then covered our horses in muddy hand prints while Ponch would paw and splash water up onto us.

Kurt & I headed out for a ride.  Kurt is in his PJs and I in my rubbers

I wanted to share the joy of riding with my brother and we often headed out together, him on the back of the saddle hanging on for dear life.  We rode down trails but mostly into the fields to check out how combining or swathing or seeding was going.  I bought another horse a couple years later as a weanling and she became everyone else's horse to ride.  Kurt rode Nevada with me everywhere, we used to race up and down through the fields.  I think I tell my husband that story every time we head back to the farm...

I learned recently that Poncho passed on.  I had given him away a couple years back to a family in central Alberta. He quickly became part of the family and continued the cycle of packing kids and enjoying the pasture life.  One day, he just lied down and went to sleep. He was 27 years old.  It was tough to hear, I still get tears in my eyes thinking about it.  But more happy thoughts than anything.  He was an amazing animal and I am grateful that he touched my life and others the way that he did.  Thank you for the years, the lessons and the life.

My last ride down the road on the good ol' boy. Miss you.

Desire

What drives us to do what we do? What is it that keeps your fire lit?  Can we force that fire to burn?
For myself, I can't say that everything I do is for my Soul Goal.  Often times, more often than not, what drove me to do what I did was the desire to please others, to not let them down, to do what I thought they wanted me to do; therefore they would be happy and in turn I would be happy- because of their happiness. I made a choice to do these things, I can't say I regret the actions I took because it lead me to where I am now and taught me some important lessons.  What I have now is the desire to change and the desire to live for me. That doesn't mean excluding others from my life.  Its being open to listen to their criticisms, their truths and make a decision to incorporate (or not) what they are saying.  Often times when we hear criticism, it is the other person's fears coming out.  These words come from their desire to be safe or secure or insert another foundation feeling here.  These are words I had a tendency to latch onto and then change what I was doing in order to manage and secure the position of the other person.  This became toxic in my life. 

Artist: KLP 2010

When I am living to fulfill someone elses perceived desire, it manifests physically in my body.  I get tight, and anxious and I stubbornly push through the pain thinking that i am doing good when ultimately it's hurting me.  As humans, we are sensitive to each others needs and wants and dislike etc.  So sensitive that we try to be intuitive as to what those needs are and begin to shape our behavior around pleasing those people.  Sometimes we want to show the other person how much we care about them or show off how much we know and understand them that we create habits of anticipating their needs.  This can become annoying to the other person as they can feel managed and you can end up feeling resentful and under-appreciated.  The easiest way to get over this is for us to BE CLEAR about our desires.  

These horses desire closeness and grooming.

How do your desires fit with your partners desires or employers desires or friends desires?  How do we even begin to talk about them?  I know I have had a hard time starting these discussions because I want to have it all figured out before I start the conversation, forgetting that just talking about it can aid the process, strengthen bonds, and bring out some other good ideas I may never have come up with. I know what my soul goal is, now I need to find a way to get there.  Talking about it has certainly helped.

Horse whisper

When I go out and hang with the herd, I see the horses have their own desires.  For example, one desire is for more personal space.  They don't hint at it or ignore their need, they express this desire right away and the pasture-mates can either comply or not.  There is no resentment or feelings of loss.  They deal with it and move on.  Now I will continue to work on that...

Psychology

I came across an interesting word the other day while reading Leif Hallberg's book, Walking the way of the horse.  It was 

ECOPSYCHOLOGY. 

One of it's definitions: the relationship of humans to other species and ecosystems.  I see it as a mash-up of psychology, anthropology and biology- How nature makes us feel, act and react.  The understanding or recognition of its potential euphoric qualities.  Picture yourself walking down this path pictured below.  Assuming you do not have a fear of heights or the outdoors, you would probably feel pretty good.

Horses, and us, are a part of nature and being with/in them can instill a sense of power, relaxation and inspiration among other things. The power of the horse to facilitate these feelings and also to guide us through struggles/issues/misperceptions etc is a relatively new field.  It has many names such as Equine Facilitated Wellness/Psychotherapy/Therapy/Learning.  It is a part of Ecopsychology and one such thing that many horse owners are exposed to on a daily basis.  How many people just feel better walking through the barn after a long day? The smell of hay, or horses, the dust. Old weathered boards or fresh read paint.  Hearing a nicker from the equine welcoming committee...

I went for a walk yesterday with a beautiful First Nation friend of mind.  As we walked through the budding trees, she said, "These trees have an energy you know.  And they know us.  They can give us energy,  everything on this land can, even the rocks.  We turn to dust when we die and that dust turns to rock and so they are a part of us and we are a part of them."  That made sense to me. What connects us, what we are connected to can make us happy to be here.

Stone Horse Japan

Blur

These images have been blurred with a purpose.  The reason for it is to prove that you can still recognize them regardless of clarity.  What does that mean? It means at one time these famed T.V. horses have carved out a corner of your mind, more likely your heart.  One of them may have been the reason why you began to love horses in the first place.
  

All of us have certain things that 'speak' to us, even if we have never seen them before. Looking through a cookbook, for example, your eye may be drawn to images that 'speak' to you, even if you have never seen or tasted them before.  Your mind does the tasting for you.  You may think 'That looks good'.  But why does it look good?  Why does it appeal to you? Why do horses appeal to you?

For me, they gave me a surge of something- maybe energy, maybe love, maybe fulfillment or warmth.  It sticks with me always.  I could have just spent all day at a horse show watching horse after horse and then while driving home thinking I had my fill when I pass a horse standing out in a field and my head 'automatically' spins to take in this creature and absorb it into my mind.  Our brains become wired for what pleases us and it remembers, even if you don't, that you were once and maybe still are, in love with horses- they speak to us.

 Black Stallion, Trigger, Hidalgo, Mr. Ed

Basics

I started skiing at a young age.  Once I got the concept of gliding on the snow, pointing skis in direction of travel and stopping, I was gone, gone and gone.  To no avail, I was instructed by my Father on proper technique and some ballet movements.  Speed, bush trails and jumps were where my heart and mind wanted to be.  That was 25 years ago and now I am just learning to ski properly.  This means going back to the basics of learning to use my edges, my body and incorporating theory into feel.  I have been stubborn thinking that I knew how to do it right and balked instruction.  This part of my personality has been a bit of a roadblock that I am attempting to remove brick by brick. It is not easy but I when I open myself to changing, I see and feel results instantly.
The same goes for riding horses.  I knew enough as a child to steer and stop the horse and the rest I was taught by the horse.  There is something to be said by being open to instruction, especially before we form hard to break habits.  Change is almost always necessary as we are constantly learning- but making those changes is not always easy.  Famous words of my Husband- "Just make a choice."
  

Photo: Pierre Obendrauf

Having a basic understanding gives us a foundation to build upon and something to go back to, ponder and adjust.  With horses, for example, we are taught to ride two handed initially and then, in the western riding discipline, finish riding single handed and go back to two hands often to make adjustments, additions, corrections etc.  My message here is that we GO BACK to the basics to improve.


So what are the basics that we use with each other?  What is basic human connectedness?  Is it understanding our basic needs? How about being mindful, open to ourselves and to others.  It is all too easy to hide behind an e-mail or text message to avoid basic connection (something many complain about not having but are actively avoiding it by making choices to disconnect from).


Basic connection scares many of us as we may fear being judged, ignored or rejected to name a few.
Author David Richo defines five ways that we can approach basic connection:

• Attention
• Acceptance
• Allowing
• Appreciation
• Affection

Being attentive, accepting other's realities, allowing them to share, appreciating their realities and being warm to the idea that others are different.  I know this is how I want to be treated.  I certainly strive to do these things, and of course fail on a daily basis, but I also succeed.  Dare I say that practice makes perfect?  There is a saying in the horse world that "Perfect Practice Makes Perfect" but I think any effort to try puts us on the right track.  Openess to try is the first step to us getting it right.

Nevada and Luna- Appreciating each other's needs,
showing attentiveness and affection.

These five principles can be applied to horses as well as they are all unique in their own right. One common place we run into trouble with people and with horses is projecting our own wants desires and fears upon them.  It is us that need to make the adjustments and if that does not fundamentally work for us in our lives, make a choice and do something else.


If these five actions are too much to take in, we can always go back to everything we learned in kindergarden:

Share everything. 

Play fair. 

Don't hit people. 

Put things back where you found them. 

Clean up your own mess. 

Don't take things that aren't yours. 

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. 

Wash your hands before you eat. 

Flush. 

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. 

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play 
and work every day some. 

Take a nap every afternoon. 

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, 
hold hands, and stick together. 

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: 
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody 
really knows how or why, but we are all like that. 

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even 
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. 
So do we. 

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books 
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.  Robert Fulghum