Basics

I started skiing at a young age.  Once I got the concept of gliding on the snow, pointing skis in direction of travel and stopping, I was gone, gone and gone.  To no avail, I was instructed by my Father on proper technique and some ballet movements.  Speed, bush trails and jumps were where my heart and mind wanted to be.  That was 25 years ago and now I am just learning to ski properly.  This means going back to the basics of learning to use my edges, my body and incorporating theory into feel.  I have been stubborn thinking that I knew how to do it right and balked instruction.  This part of my personality has been a bit of a roadblock that I am attempting to remove brick by brick. It is not easy but I when I open myself to changing, I see and feel results instantly.
The same goes for riding horses.  I knew enough as a child to steer and stop the horse and the rest I was taught by the horse.  There is something to be said by being open to instruction, especially before we form hard to break habits.  Change is almost always necessary as we are constantly learning- but making those changes is not always easy.  Famous words of my Husband- "Just make a choice."
  

Photo: Pierre Obendrauf

Having a basic understanding gives us a foundation to build upon and something to go back to, ponder and adjust.  With horses, for example, we are taught to ride two handed initially and then, in the western riding discipline, finish riding single handed and go back to two hands often to make adjustments, additions, corrections etc.  My message here is that we GO BACK to the basics to improve.


So what are the basics that we use with each other?  What is basic human connectedness?  Is it understanding our basic needs? How about being mindful, open to ourselves and to others.  It is all too easy to hide behind an e-mail or text message to avoid basic connection (something many complain about not having but are actively avoiding it by making choices to disconnect from).


Basic connection scares many of us as we may fear being judged, ignored or rejected to name a few.
Author David Richo defines five ways that we can approach basic connection:

• Attention
• Acceptance
• Allowing
• Appreciation
• Affection

Being attentive, accepting other's realities, allowing them to share, appreciating their realities and being warm to the idea that others are different.  I know this is how I want to be treated.  I certainly strive to do these things, and of course fail on a daily basis, but I also succeed.  Dare I say that practice makes perfect?  There is a saying in the horse world that "Perfect Practice Makes Perfect" but I think any effort to try puts us on the right track.  Openess to try is the first step to us getting it right.

Nevada and Luna- Appreciating each other's needs,
showing attentiveness and affection.

These five principles can be applied to horses as well as they are all unique in their own right. One common place we run into trouble with people and with horses is projecting our own wants desires and fears upon them.  It is us that need to make the adjustments and if that does not fundamentally work for us in our lives, make a choice and do something else.


If these five actions are too much to take in, we can always go back to everything we learned in kindergarden:

Share everything. 

Play fair. 

Don't hit people. 

Put things back where you found them. 

Clean up your own mess. 

Don't take things that aren't yours. 

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. 

Wash your hands before you eat. 

Flush. 

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. 

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play 
and work every day some. 

Take a nap every afternoon. 

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, 
hold hands, and stick together. 

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: 
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody 
really knows how or why, but we are all like that. 

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even 
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. 
So do we. 

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books 
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.  Robert Fulghum