Living

What does it mean to you to be alive? Does it mean filling up a journal full of experiences, or planning and saving for retirement? Does it mean having shelter or merely surviving?  For a horse, living is about the moment-  There are no 5, 10, 20 year plans and no 7 year itches.  They are present, in the now, ALL the time.  Decisions are based on survival, what works for them and their herd right now.  There is not any stressing about what to do when the kids leave the herd, or what new mane and tail style the lead horse has this week.  It is about the moments that keep them alive.  Not to say that horses do not have fun.  Looking out the window at my own herd, it is lightly snowing and a smidge below zero and they are running and kicking up their heels. I can tell by their body language that they are enjoying themselves.

Coming into the now

In my own experience, I have had the habit of trying to live more for the fun moments, avoid the sad or anxiety ridden moments as much as possible.  However, I am learning that these moments are the ones that build character and I am also in charge of feeling anxiety or sadness.  These emotions and situations are necessary at times and embracing those moments and living in the now with them gets me a lot further than wishing I was doing something else.  Many of us have caught ourselves saying "It will be better when..." or "If I could just.... Then I would be happy".  These thoughts are of no concern to a horse.  They think for the moment, for survival and do what they need to do in the NOW.  


Being responsible people we do need to plan for the future: how will we provide for our family or how and when do we want to retire, if that is our desire, for example.  But that does not mean that we cannot live in the moment and be present in what we do.  Truly living is living in the now.  Putting your life energy into these moments that matter, for putting energy into the future is given away to something we cannot see or control.

Wanting

Horses being the powerful creatures they are, can reflect on many levels the qualities we wished we had.  Qualities like power, freedom, and flight come to mind.  This just is not feasible- at least not in a human sense.  Horses serve a different purpose than we do- they are prey animals.
  Coming to grips with who we are, where we came from and what our purpose is as people can help us appreciate these creatures even more.  It's like the 'pretty' girl in school or the 'jock' whom we faultily admired.  There will always be people who are more or less talented than ourselves in certain areas of our lives but that does not mean that we should waste energy wanting or desiring to be them.  Plain and simple WE CAN'T. 

Female Centaur- She would need one heckuva sports bra

I wanted so much as a little kid to be a horse.  I ran like one, tried to whinny like one and even tried to munch on the lawn...  Ridiculous? Yes.  I was not comfortable in my own skin, within my own mind and being.  At times now, I am still not.  This is part of growing I suppose.  We are on this Earth for such a limited time that it would do nothing but good to accept who we are. EASIER SAID THAN DONE.


Horses can help us accept who we are when they accept us and we learn that we are different from them and different from everyone else.  I am not suggesting that you go out and buy a horse, but finding a way to spend time with them is pretty life altering.  Even volunteering at a local stable or for a Riding For The Disabled program where you can see first hand how horses change lives all the while exposing you to the horses as well.

Intimidating

My first horse came to me when I was 11 years old.  He was 9 years old and 15.3 hands high- I was maybe 5 feet tall.  He was 17 times my body weight. I was fearless and so was he- my parents, on the other hand, were not.  It was Anglo-arab gelding meets farm girl who does not understand slow, stop, or even yield.  He made me the rider I am today but it would be a lie to say our relationship was without fear throughout it's history.  One year into owning him, I was thrown and seriously injured.  I did not tell my parents for fear that they would take my horse away. So I sucked up the pain and rode on even though I was intimidated. 

Poncho and Myself- 1992

I have been thrown by many horses, which can be part of the learning experience with riding and training horses.  Often when you apprentice with a senior trainer, for example, they may put you on the horses they don't want to ride, the ones they know will buck or are scared and scarred from being mis-treated and I have spent some time in these positions.  I simply worked through the fear which is what many people expect horses to do.  This does not present a happy scenario.  Life is so much easier when it is lead with respect and understanding.  Although I am no expert, I believe these are the keys to getting along with each other and with horses.


When a person who is not used to being around horses all the time (and some that are) approaches a horse, they can be intimidated by their size.  It is true that a horse could hurt you, there is always that possibility with any horse. However, the heart and soul of these creatures goes far beyond their size and a respectful introduction and understanding does wonders for the handler and the horse.  
Many of us have 'baggage' from others in our lives who have tried to control, bully, or intimidate us in some manner or another, so do many horses.  Like people, you can see it in their eyes, read it in their body language although many humans have adapted to hide their pain, to push it into the corners of their very being and when asked "How are you?" the answer "Fine" is a common one.  When a horse is asked how they are (When being caught or asked to work for example) they don't lie.  They are honest all the time, their life depends on it. If they are not willing, it will show in their way of being, for example: a swish of the tail or toss of the head.

Pinned ears = horse unsatisfied with current situation

It is this honesty that makes horses great therapeutic partners.  There are no maybes, just yes or no.  We cannot lie to them either, they mirror what they sense in us and if they sense uneasyness, they will react accordingly.  I have noticed this when going out to feed my horses.  If I am in a bad mood (which quickly dissapates just being in their presence) they will stay clear.  I do not feel that I giving off any physical signs that I am 'in a bad mood' but they can sense the energy.  It is similar to when your partner or friend can walk into a room and right away you can sense what mood they are in. With horses, however, this sense is 'turned on' all the time.  As humans we have a tendency to 'tune out'.  Human and equine intuition are powerful tools.  Paired with understanding and respect, we now have the foundation to overcome Intimidation.

Me

I grew up on a grain farm in rural Alberta.  We learned the value of work, of growth and life.  I was fortunate to have much of my extended family around me as a child and am still close with them.  I was also fortunate to be able to own animals- dogs, cats, birds, cattle and some wonderful horses.  My first horse is still alive and is being loved by a new generation.  I currently own three horses of various pedigrees and ride in multiple disciplines. 

I have three kids as well and a wonderful, stimulating, challenging husband.  

When I was a young child, I wanted to be a vet, only for the reason I would be surrounded by animals.  Then I came to the realization that vets are mainly surrounded by paperwork and sick or injured animals.  I have a lot of respect for vets, especially those who are out there for the animals, not the money or the owners. 

I started my first colt at 14.  I bought her from a ranch down the road with the intention to sell her as a broke horse so I would have some college money- that was well over 15 years ago... She still resides in my pasture.  Since this first very positive experience, I figured I would train horses- mainly starting colts- and have since studied with an assortment of other trainers, attended clinics, symposiums and classes.  Most importantly, I learned to do by doing.  That is how a person develops 'feel'.  "Feel," as one influential trainer repeatedly told me, "cannot be taught."  This is something that the horse teaches you.  Every horse has a different feel, a different energy.  Just like people.

I have always gone back to horses regardless of my job choice (including semi truck driver and bike mechanic).  I decided that horses needed to be full time in my life and I have trained professionally for the last 6 years and now have over 20 years experience with horses.  They humble me in every moment and I am still learning, as we all are. 

I could not imagine life without these great creatures and am fortunate to have a family that supports this passion.

My hopes are to incorporate the human side with the horse side through equine assisted therapies.  So often when I have taught lessons, people open up on their horses far more than they would away from them.  I thoroughly enjoy this and want to continue introducing people to horses.  One does not need to ride in order to experience the power of the horse.

Dreamt

Whether it was my heart winning or the horse, it was no doubt a race.  A race which continues to be a journey to my heart and into the soul of the horse.
I must have seen a horse run throughout the insides of my Mother from the time my eyes began to develop in utero as they have been an utter obsession ever since. It was something my parents have wished I grew out of but, if anything, the feelings grew stronger with age.  

You may be able to relate. Take a second and think about your earliest memory of this creature.  Your first ride, first touch of the velvet muzzle, or maybe you saw a photo of one in full flight spread across the pages of a magazine.  There is a great irony in this creature which we so often see contained, to instill a sense of liberation, of freedom, of release.  Merely the sight of these steeds can be therapeutic.
This is the purpose of this blog- to discuss the powers of the horse on us humans, as a mentor, a martyr, an employee, and a counselor.   In the words of Temple Grandin- "Animals make us human".